Las Vegas Baby!
by pyro18
Summary: The Acolytes run away to Las Vegas. Magneto sends the Brotherhood to get them back. Crazy hijinks ensue. plz READ AND REVIEW!
1. Gone Missing

This is the first story I am publishing. It was written from the twisted minds Choopsie and Chabaski. You have been warned.

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Magneto sighed deeply and slumped down into his magnificent armchair facing the fire. The Acolytes were troubling him deeply. With the fire crackling Magneto brooded silently wondering what he had done wrong. Knocking on the large oak door disturbed Magneto's silence.

"Come in," he called out.

"Magneto?" Mastermind cautiously asked opening the door a crack.

"Yes, I'm here Mastermind. Now when I say come in I mean come in," Magneto watched as Mastermind stepped inside and appreciated the way he obeyed. At least he respected him. "What is it?"

"The…ummm…they…" Mastermind stuttered his eyes shifting around hastily.

"Out with it!" Magneto commanded.

"Okay…the Acolytes ran off to Las Vegas," Mastermind finally blurted out.

"THEY WHAT!" Magneto yelled jumping out of his chair. He grabbed Mastermind by his brown trench coat thingy and asked through clenched teeth, taking a deep breath between each word, "When? Who? What happened!" Magneto had never thought that they would have gone this far.

"Well, Sabertooth, Pyro, Gambit, and Colossus took all of the funding and said they were going to Las Vegas right before they…"

"I get it!" Magneto yelled throwing Mastermind from his grip. He quickly returned to his natural steely composure lest Mastermind think he was losing his temper.

"Now the situation at hand is getting the Acolytes to come back to their senses and focus on the task of mutant domination," Magneto said leaving the room with a dramatic swirl of his cape.

Mastermind silently followed until a question came to his mind. "Magneto?"

"Hmmm?" Magneto asked crisply stalking through the polished metal hallway of his lair.

"How are you going to find them?" he asked trying to keep pace with the master of magnetism, "Are you going alone?"

"Alone? No, someone as important as myself always has a backup team to do his bidding."

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That's the end of chap 1. a little boring but this story just gets crazier and crazier. Plz review! 


	2. Hitchikers Can Be Dangerous

Please read and review.

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The four Acolytes stood on the side of the freeway trying to catch a ride. They had been standing there for about two hours and Piotr was getting restless, amusing himself by randomly changing his fingers into metal and back.

"Could ya cut that out?" Remy asked, "That clickin' is gettin' on my nerves!" Piotr frowned but obeyed the antsy Cajun.

"Me hungry…" Sabertooth growled putting a hand on his stomach.

"Shut up!" Remy snapped turning on Victor. He growled in response and plopped down on the dusty ground, his ugly face in his hands and pouted.

"Hey it's a car!" Pyro suddenly blurted out, "I think it's comin' this way mates!" Pyro put on his friendliest face, and it started to pull over for them. It was about to stop until Sabertooth stood up.

"Dear Lord!" the driver exclaimed speeding away. Remy scowled and cursed and you could tell he was in a very bad mood. Piotr just looked bored and began doing that thing with his fingers again.

"That was the fourth car that changed its mind! There must be something wrong…but what?" Pyro puzzled. Remy rolled his eyes and started walking away. "Hey, where do ya think you're going?" Pyro shrieked after him. Remy didn't respond and kept walking. "Hmph, fine! Go back to Magneto! We'll have all the fun," Pyro yelled sticking out his tongue. Piotr rolled his eyes at the childish younger mutant.

"Hey, look," Sabertooth grunted as a convertible pulled up.

"Need a ride?" the driver asked pulling down her sunglasses.

"Yes actually," Pyro answered.

She grinned, "What's your name cutie?"

"Oh, my name's John, and this is Piotr and Victor. There was Remy too, but…"

"They're coming! Oh sorry…I don't…have enough room!" she said, staring at Sabertooth like she was going to barf. The convertible sped away just like the car before had. Pyro cussed and pulled out his lighter, using the fire to calm himself.

"Well somebody's mad," Remy commented who was suddenly standing back with them again.

"What are you doing back?" Pyro asked spitefully, putting away his lighter.

"I was just takin' a pee…why? Is that a crime?"

"I guess not," muttered John.

"So, what'd I miss?" he asked almost cheerfully.

"Just another car. I don't get it… they're always about to let us in before they drive away," Pyro pouted.

"Face it, we're never gonna get a ride if he's with us," Gambit answered jerking his thumb over his shoulder at Sabertooth. Sabertooth was blissfully unaware of the conversation about him, and was satisfying his hunger by plucking ants and other various insects off the ground. They stared at him in disgust as he made happy smacking sounds licking the ants off his fingers.

"Yummy!" Sabertooth squealed, getting on his hands and knees to find more bugs humming "Hakuna Matata" to himself.

"Ohhhhh… that's why they never pick us up," Pyro said joyfully putting two-and-two together. Piotr rolled his eyes a second time trying to remind himself why he was sticking with these idiots. To get back at Magneto of course! Stealing the money and going to Las Vegas was the perfect way to show old Bucket Head he was not the boss of them…right? Piotr sighed. At least it was a start. Of course the reason they were hitchhiking was because Magneto never let them use cars, only those fancy metal orbs. This all made no sense to the quiet Russian giant, though. If they stole so much money then why couldn't they spend a little bit of it to rent a car or something.

"Piotr? Heeellloo? Anybody home?"

"Looks ta me like the lights are on, but nobody's home." Piotr was sucked out of his thoughts by John and Remy.

"Hmmm?" he mumbled.

"Great! We've finally made contact! What a success!" Pyro joked. Piotr frowned his usual I'm confused-and-upset-and-deeply-troubled-at-the-same-time frown at them.

"Hey guys, it's another car," Gambit pointed at the approaching vehicle. Pyro waved, but once again glimpsed Sabertooth and sped away.

"JESUS CHRIST!" Pyro screamed shoving Sabertooth into the middle of the street where he was run over. His powers allowed him to survive the first car and he might of survived if it was only one. Piotr, Remy, and John stared on in awe as their comrade was run over by a motorcycle, an SUV, a UPS truck, an 18-wheeler, and finally after one last dying shriek was just a carcass on the road.

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Yes Sabertooth is dead...for now. 


	3. The Fuzz

This chapter is very crazy, so yeah, just play along and you'll be fine. Plz read and review.

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Pyro was the first to break the silence, "Oops, my bad."

"Let's give him a proper burial," Piotr muttered. They all stared bewilderedly at him.

"Are you serious?" Remy asked who was interrupted by a cop car that pulled up alongside them.

"Hey you Baker's dozen, do you know anything about that dead man in the street?" the first cop slurred.

"Hey that's not a man it's a huge jungle cat!" Pyro pointed out.

Remy elbowed him and whispered, "Let me take care of dis." Remy looked at the cop in the driver's seat of the squad car who seemed intoxicated. He turned his gaze to the cop in the passenger's seat. He looked at his badge which read Zachary Hall.

Noticing Remy's glance, "You can call me Officer Zach," Officer Zach said with a lisp. Remy's eyebrows went up; he could tell the man had some problems. A small grin reached his face, 'This is gonna be a piece of cake,' he thought to himself.

"Officer Barney," Officer Zach said referring to the drunken cop, "Let's investigate the corpse."

"Okay Zach," Barney replied.

"It's Officer Zach to you!" Officer Zach clearly stated.

"Oh, I'm just playin'," Officer Barney said as he playfully yet drunkenly pushed Officer Zach.

"Don'ttouchthatthat'sascab!" Zach screamed pulling away.

"Sorry," Barney apologized trying to brush off Zach's shoulder.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Officer Zach screamed, pushing himself up against the door of the squad car trying to get as far away as possible from Officer Barney while still staying in the car. While all this was going on the three remaining Acolytes were tiptoeing away from the scene of the crime.

Suddenly, Officer Zach leaped through the open window of the cop car, and yelled,"HEY YOU! BAKER'S DOZEN! STOP RIGHT THERE!" His face was beet red and you could see a vein pulsing in his temple. The Acolytes stopped short with looks of surprise on their faces.

"Hey this isn't a jungle cat…" Barney yelled from the middle of the street. All of a sudden an old, cackling, drunken woman ran him over.

"Hey isn't that Barney's mom?" Zach wondered aloud reading the license plate which said: BRNYSMA. After considering this Zach's attention turned to his dead partner, "Goodness gracious! My LOVE, I mean my PARTNER!" he screamed as he dropped to his knees on the side of the road. He then yelled, "GOD! Why have you forsaken me?", and began sobbing.

"Run!" Remy cried as they ran down the side of the road with Officer Zach's crumpled form growing smaller and smaller as they ran.

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	4. Death of a DJ

We do not the song "Faint" by Linkin Park, but it is used in this chapter. This is probably the most graphic part of this story so read on and enjoy! PLEASE REVIEW!

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Magneto stopped at the front porch of the Brotherhood house. He knocked on the door and put his hand on the railing on the stair leading to the door which immediately snapped off. He casually stepped off to the side and began whistling. Heavy metal coming from inside the dilapidated house prevented the Brotherhood boys from hearing the knock on the door. Magneto opened the door which was carelessly unlocked. As he walked in the living room he saw that they had turned it into a recording studio using obviously stolen equipment. Lance had the lead guitar, Pietro was at the drums, Toad was the disc jockey, and Blob was singing. They were too busy playing to notice Magneto's rude entrance.

Blob was singing, "I can't feel the way I did before, don't turn your back on me I WON'T BE IGNORED!" Toad finally noticed Magneto and immediately started pointing towards him, but the others were too involved with the music to see. Magneto cleared his throat to get their attention, but nobody could hear. Then he tried stamping his feet, clapping his hands, and running in circles, but all failed.

Finally, Magneto tried yelling, "Okay, HEAR ME OUT NOW! YOU'RE GONNA LISTEN TO ME LIKE IT OR NOT RIGHT NOW!" The music stopped right away.

"Damn…" Lance mumbled putting his guitar down.

"Excuse me?" Magneto asked Lance.

"Wait, what did you say?" Pietro asked.

"I said damn," Lance repeated.

"No! Not you! Magneto what did you yell?"

"I said hear me out now, you're gonna listen to me like it or not right now, that's all okay! Jeez!" Pietro started scribbling on a piece of paper. "What are you writing?" Magneto inquired, "Are you going to use this against me in court?"

"No, it's good," Pietro mumbled. Passing the paper to Lance he said, "Let's add this into the song."

"Yeah! It's great, we could add it in right here," Lance agreed.

"What are you doing?" Magneto asked, but was cut off by the music starting up again. Magneto stared in wonder as his words were added to the song.

Blob screamed, "HEAR ME OUT NOW! YOU'RE GONNA LISTEN TO ME LIKE OR NOT RIGHT NOW! I can't feel the way I did before don't turn your back on me I WON'T BE IGNORED!" The music stopped abruptly.

"That works great, yo!" Toad said.

"Thanks pops! That was perfect," Pietro added. Magneto froze and slowly turned to his son, shaking with anger. Pietro gulped, he knew he had crossed the line.

"PIETRO! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU CALL ME!" Magneto yelled.

"Uhh, n-nothing," Pietro simpered.

"That's what I thought," Magneto said. "Now I am sure you are all wondering what I'm doing here in the first place," he continued addressing the whole brotherhood, "and I'm here to ask you for your assistance in retrieving the Acolytes.

"They bailed on ya, oh that's cold," Toad joked. Magneto thrust Lance's guitar, using his powers, into Toad's chest, which propelled him across the room slamming him into the wall. "My heart!" Toad screamed.

"My guitar!" Lance screamed. Magneto cackled as blood started to pour from Toad's beating heart. He groaned as he sunk to the floor.

With his last dying breath Toad muttered, "Yo…" Pietro and Lance's faces paled and they rushed over to Toad's dead body.

Blob just stood there for a few seconds before saying, "I think I'll go make a samich now…" as he wandered off into the kitchen. Lance pulled his guitar out of Toad and stared at his broken, bloody instrument.

"Why must it end this way? You and me rocked hard!" Lance cried clutching his guitar.

"Oh, please! You can just steal a new one, I'm sure," Magneto calmly said disregarding the fact that he had just committed murder.

Lance glared at Magneto for a few minutes and finally said, "You _killed_ our DJ _and_ my guitar and you expect us to HELP YOU!"

Magneto glared right back at Lance for a few seconds before replying, "Yes." At that moment Blob walked back in with a sandwich.

"Oh my God! Todd's DEAD!" Blob fell to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably, "He was my _best friend_!"

"Now I hope you will join me in the search for my Acolytes unless you want to suffer the same fate as your friend," Magneto threatened.

"As long as you get me a new guitar!" Lance demanded. Magneto rolled his eyes and walked out of the house. "I'm serious!" Lance yelled running after him with Blob and Pietro. They all climbed into the floating orbs and they were off to Las Vegas.

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Mystique walked into the Brotherhood house 20 minutes later to find it in a state of chaos. Band equipment was thrown everywhere and Toad's dead body was placed neatly in the corner of the living room.

Mystique dropped her groceries on the floor and roared, "WHAT HAS HAPPENED?" She stormed all around the house only to find it was completely devoid of life. Mystique's blue nostrils flared and she yelled at Toad's carcass, "WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO?" Suddenly there was a knock at the door. After quickly transforming, Mystique opened the door to find two cops, "May I help you?" she asked sweetly.

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End file.
